Our Story: A Journey of Foster Care and Adoption

Our Story: A Journey of Foster Care and Adoption

In 2004, our lives changed forever. My husband and I had started doing foster care while working on opening our adoption file. At the time, it was just the three of us—my husband, our daughter (who was in junior high), and me. My husband worked out of town during the week for the state, and I worked at the hospital.

One night, my daughter and I received a phone call from the state. They were desperate to find a home for three young brothers. We had initially planned to take in only one foster child, but this was the last option before the boys would be split into separate homes. My heart couldn’t bear to see that happen. After a quick call to my husband, he agreed, and I told the state we would take the boys for the week and see how things went.

I will never forget the night they arrived. Three little boys, all under the age of five, climbed out of a car. Each had only a small toy car—nothing else. They were dirty from head to toe. The oldest had severe bruises on his face from being beaten with a gaming cord, an injury inflicted simply because he had stood in front of the television. The sight of him broke my heart. I had to step into my room to cry and pray, overwhelmed by the enormity of what lay ahead. How could anyone do such a thing to a child?

The next day, all three boys went to the doctor. The youngest, small for his age, was sick and needed breathing treatments. That first night, I expected tears and cries for their mother, but there were none. They seemed emotionless. At dinner, the middle child—just three years old—talked about killing and chopping off heads. They didn’t know how to use utensils. One ate directly from his plate like a dog. We bathed them and got them to bed, but I slept on the couch with one eye open.

The next morning, we dressed and headed back to the doctor, who prescribed antibiotics for all three. Over the following weeks, appointments with mental health professionals, family doctors, and social workers filled our days. As their tragic history unfolded, we learned they had suffered every form of abuse imaginable—sexual, physical, and emotional. They had lived in tents when the weather was good and in a van when it wasn’t. They never had a stable home. Their lives were filled with people who brought more harm than good.

The state’s plan was reunification with their mother. They worked on getting her a stable home and improving her parenting skills, but it became clear this wasn’t working. The boys returned from visits with bruises and stories of seeing the very person they were supposed to be protected from. I repeatedly voiced my concerns to the caseworkers, but it felt like they were just doing the bare minimum. One caseworker ignored reports about the boys staying in a home with no running water, bugs on the table, and exposure to their abuser.

After more than a year of caring for these boys, I knew I had to do something. I gathered my notes, letters, and communication records with their mother and caseworker and sent them to the judge and the state supervisor. I also worked with the boys' therapist to document the ongoing issues.

One week before the boys were supposed to go back to their mother, she called and asked to meet us at the caseworker’s office. I’ll never forget her words. She asked if my husband and I would adopt her sons. She tearfully admitted that she couldn’t provide for them, that she loved them too much to keep them from the life they deserved. My heart raced. Our adoption file had just opened days earlier.

I asked if she was certain. She assured me she had thought it through and wanted her boys to stay together. With tears in my eyes, I promised we would love them as our own and keep her in their lives, as long as boundaries were respected. It takes incredible strength for a mother to make such a selfless decision, and I admired her courage.

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This journey tested our hearts, patience, and faith, but it also brought immeasurable love into our home. These boys became a part of our family, and they forever changed our lives.